You are witnessing my first step in telling my story as an artist. It's slightly more intimidating than a blank canvas.
Laying down the first mark on that big, pristine canvas is pretty daunting. What will this end up being? What if I waste this large, expensive canvas? Doubts are running through my mind. When I feel this way about starting a painting, I find ways to break the barrier, whether it's starting with an underpainting or asking a friend to make the first mark. When the first step is taken and any random mark is made, its as though a spell has been broken and I work loosely, making bold brushstrokes without any worry.
Sometimes you just have to dive in.